After His Heart

May 19, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha Borden2 Comments

“Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you.” Psalm 51:10-13

Have you ever wondered why David is referred to as a man after God’s own heart? I have, too. When I think of God, I think of an all knowing Saviour who does not sin, and can do no wrong. But, David. Oh, David. Look at all the ways he failed.

We know him as a King, and we also know him for his two major sins, murder and adultery. In 2 Samuel 11:1-5, David sees a beautiful woman bathing, and instead of looking away he asks about her. He’s told that she is married, but instead leaving it at that, he orders her to come to him and takes her into his bed. She becomes pregnant, and David tries to cover it up. In verses 6-13, we see that he attempts numerous times to have Bathsheba’s husband, Uriah, go home and be with his wife to cover the true identity of this baby’s father. But Uriah refuses to go home, despite King David’s attempts. David became frustrated and desperate. In verses 14-27, we read a detailed account of how King David orders Uriah back to the battle lines, right into the line of fire, so that he will die. Upon his death, King David takes Bathsheba into his home to be his wife.

It seems that David understood his sins, and tried to cover them up as best he could. But verse 27 says that the Lord was greatly displeased. And yet, David is a man after His own heart. How can this be?

We also know King David to be a writer of many of the Psalms. Psalm 51:10-13 shows one of the examples of why David fit this description. He had a repentant heart. In these verses, we can see he recognizes how he has sinned. Sin separated him from God. We see he understands he has fallen out of God’s presence, and he calls out to God to restore him.

David does this over and over and over again. Throughout the psalms, he is continually seeking God. I may not fully understand all of the reasons why David is called a man after God’s own heart, but I do understand this: “I said to the Lord, You are my Master! Every good thing I have comes from you.” David was wise enough to understand that everything he had, anything good in his life, was a blessing and a gift from God.

Not only that, David desired to have an intimate relationship with God. He craved God. He made God a priority in his life. Psalm 84:2 says, “I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.”

A repentant heart. A desire for God. These are some of the ways David measured up to the title a man after God’s own heart. How many of us fall short from this time and time again? How many of us are actively repenting and desiring? Let’s look at these two things a little more closely.

Repentance

Let’s face it, this is a hard word. Before we can get to this place, we need to acknowledge what we are doing is wrong. And that’s a hard thing to do. How many of us want to admit we’re no good? How many of us have failed to repent?

Repentance is defined as the activity of reviewing one’s actions and feeling contrition for regret or past wrongs. It generally involves a commitment to personal change and resolving to live a more responsible and humane life. This is a great description, but the best description I have ever heard was actually an object lesson.

My son is preparing to be baptized later this summer, and our pastor is meeting with him regularly to talk about baptism and what it means to be a Christian. During one of their lessons, they were talking about repentance. He described it as turning away from sin. He had my son walk towards as wall, and when he called “repent!” my son would turn around and walk the other way. It was a physical reminder of what repentance really means.

At first, we won’t be successful in turning away from sin. But bit by bit, we will be. Repenting is honouring God. It pleases Him. And shouldn’t we be wanting to make God happy with our choices and our decisions? We should be living for Him. Repentance is the beginning.

Desiring God

The definition of desire is something that one wishes for, craves or wants. It can also be described as a longing for something that can bring enjoyment and satisfaction. What are the things that you crave? What are the things that you most want? Desiring God needs to be the first among any other thing that might make that list.

I have had a lot to learn in this area, and I am far from perfect in my walk with God. In fact, let me tell you there is no such thing as a perfect Christian. We are absolutely an imperfect people. But I do long to be a person who desires God above all else. So where does one start?

I believe the best way to start is by prayer, praise, and thanksgiving. David actively did all three of these things. David actually lays out a wonderful example of how prayer, praise and thanksgiving can unite to become one thing. Most of his psalms have him crying out to God in prayer, praising God for who He is, and thanking God for all He has done. Psalm 86 is a great example of this.

But prayer, praise and thanksgiving aren’t enough. We need to be actively reading His word as well. I remember sitting in a church service a few months ago, where the pastor stated a startling statistic that struck me in the heart. According to a LifeWay survey, 80% of church goers do not read their Bible. I sat there shocked until it dawned on me. I didn’t. I hadn’t been. Here I had this wonderful, life altering book in my hands. How many times had I opened it the previous week? I am ashamed to admit, I hadn’t once. And why hadn’t I been? Because, to be honest, it felt like a chore.

How did I get to that place? From the moments God breathed His truths into my heart to the moment I realized I hadn’t opened my Bible all week? If we’re going to be completely honest, it was longer than a week. It was my own fault, and I felt betrayed.

The best way to get back into reading the Bible is to just pick it up, open it and read. I found passages of scripture I had previously underlined breathed truths right back into my heart and I went from there. There are many daily Bible reading plans available, you just have to choose one that interests you. Start there and watch how your life changes.

David was a man after God’s own heart. It should be our desire to be people after His own heart, too. What can you do today to start strengthening your relationship with Him?

Who vs. What

May 2, 2015March 6, 2017 Jerusha Borden1 Comment

When my children were very little, I used to wonder what they would become when they grew up. Whey they were still in diapers, and they could just barely sit up I wondered what their interests would be and where life would take them. Would they become a doctor or a ditch digger? It was always fun to guess.

Today, my nine year old wants to become a veterinarian. He just loves animals and science so much, so he’s planning on not missing a day of school for the rest of his life so he can achieve this goal. My seven year old wants to be a teacher – mostly because he adores his teachers and has his very own stuffed animal school.

It is difficult to tell if they will be able to achieve their dreams. I know all children dream of holding down certain jobs when they become an adult – I wanted to be an author, my sister wanted to be a pioneer! As you grow your preferences change and your dreams and goals change as well. Who knows what the future will hold?

Recently, I had a realization. God’s plan for my children is the most important thing. He has already made a way for them. He has already given them a heart for serving Him. Even in the simplest ways like clearing the tables after a church breakfast, or helping a neighbour with their yard work. It is so exciting to see God work in their lives. I can’t wait to see that develop into more as they grow.

The heart of the matter is this. What they do in life is not as important as who they become. Sure, I want to help my kids succeed in school so they can hold down a career. But the most important thing I can do as a parent is help mould their character to become godly men. Kind, caring men like their Dad.

Just this past week, we were working on a school project with Micah. Any sort of writing project is difficult because he has significant issues with both fine and gross motor skills. It was gruelling to get him to sit still and print as neatly as possible. After homework time each afternoon, I wanted to smack my head against the wall repeatedly. But you know what? It poured that week. Rained every single day. A little boy who was walking home beside us on a rainy afternoon was getting particularly soaked, so Micah shared his umbrella. They walked and chatted and finally, the little boy turned to me and said, “you know what? Your son is really nice!” It made my Mama’s heart soar.

In this life, they will face struggles. Every single day. Just sitting in a classroom full of people and desperately wanting to make friends but not knowing how to communicate well builds up barriers. Neither one of them have friends they see outside of the classroom. I am sure as they get older and they learn more, these things will change. Because friendships are important. How we treat other people is important. How we love other people. We can do these things well when we love and have a relationship with Christ. And that’s the most important thing of all.

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Be Beautiful

April 14, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

“The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Relationships are messy. People are real. In the run of the day, people feel so many things. Joy, fear, love, frustration, anger, jealousy. We are all a bundle of emotions packaged into a form made of skin and bones. Skin and bones, muscle and fat. Shapes and sizes that are different from the next. It is amazing to know we are made so that no two people are exactly the same. So why do we strive to be just that?

Everywhere we look, we see beautiful women with perfect skin and perfect teeth and perfect hair. The ideal women we are manipulated to believe we need to be in order to fit with the rest of the world. Even though we know these women are digitally remastered to look that way. If you ran into those same women on the street, their skin might not be so smooth and their teeth might not be so white. Underneath all of that perfect image is a women who is real. A real person with real emotions who has real struggles just like the rest of us.

Why does body image have to matter so much?

In a world full of perfectly plastic women, there is no way we will ever add up. We have sat in rooms where words have been slung that sting to the very core. We have been hurt by words. Had our hearts broken by words. Been absolutely shattered by words. Sometimes we can’t forget…

But the beautiful thing? The beautiful thing is Love. It heals the scars and burns that words leave behind. The less than perfect girl – the one who hates her crooked teeth, her curly and untamable hair, the colour of her eyes, the extra weight or the shape of her legs – that girl can have a beautiful life.

So how to you fit into this plastic world? Find out where you fit. And how do you find out where you fit? By being yourself. The key to a beautiful life is by truly living yours – the life that God intended for you to live, the one He created you for.

The beautiful thing about His love is that it doesn’t discriminate about imperfections like crooked teeth or extra chub. Because the Lord sees beyond the shell of skin and bones, muscle and fat to the person inside. A person who loves. A person who laughs. A person who experiences joy, anger and frustration all in the same day. A person who has value – who is valued.

When you are living the life that He created you for, when you are doing what He has planned for you and are walking in faith, you are absolutely beautiful. You outshine all the women on television or in the pages of magazines. You are beautiful.

Don’t let comparison steal your joy. Live your life the way you created to live it. Don’t look for approval of others, but rely on the approval of the One who really counts.

Autism

Alone

April 10, 2015March 6, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

I saw you there, eating lunch alone in the cafeteria and it broke my heart. You had a smile on your face and didn’t seem to mind the isolation. But my heart broke for you because of what you couldn’t see. Because of what you didn’t have. Just a few seats over a bunch of boys laughing loudly and tossing straws at each other. At the next table, two boys eating lunch and chatting about the latest movie they had seen. And there you were, alone.

It broke my heart for more than one reason. I get to see you for you. For who you really are. I get to see all the charming bits and the funny bits and all the wonderful, amazing pieces of you. The other kids? They don’t really get to see that. All they see is the boy who eats alone. The boy who leaves class early and the boy who meets with the teachers once a week.

People say you’re lucky to have high functioning autism – because really it’s just all social and there’s nothing else wrong. I don’t think they know how wrong they are with that statement – but even if that was really just the problem, how is that okay? What would they do if they couldn’t make friends? If they had no one…

It’s hard to imagine a life without friends if you have many, or even just a wonderful few. The people you call when something wonderful happens. The people who let you cry on their shoulder when something goes wrong. The people who share in your joys. The people who go to the movies with you, the people who you take road trips with. Imagine a life without that.

That’s what I see for you, and it breaks my heart.

I see boys playing on the playground together. I see you alone on the swings, and I am so glad you’re happy swinging there. But you’re alone.

I know the difference between classmates and friends. Classmates are the ones who you’re stuck with for the school year and who put up with you and are friendly to you because they have to be. Friends are the ones who like you and call you on the weekends to hang out and spend the summer playing outside at the park or going to the pool.

I desperately want that for you, but you can’t force friendships. No matter how many times we talk about social skills and have group time or go to the Best Buddies program – it doesn’t fill that void.

You’re so happy in your bubble and it breaks my heart. You are unaware of what you’re missing and there’s peace in that. But I know what’s coming. I know how hard the next few years will be when you’ll start to notice. I know how difficult the days will be when you reach middle school and the classmates who have mostly ignored you will turn to bullying you. I know how lonely you’ll be in high school.

I don’t know what to do for you and it breaks my heart. I pray for a good friend – one is all you need if they are real and true. And until that day you meet a friend who loves you and accepts you just the way you are, I will love you through the loneliness.

Autism

Autism and Church

April 4, 2015March 6, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

Recently we attended a service for Easter that was a multi generation service. All ages were in attendance, and there were no programs for the children. When I was a child and attending church, there were no church time programs for children over the age of three and we were all expected to sit quietly in church…or else!

I didn’t want that for my children, and we have been so pleased to find a church that has extensive programs for youth and children both during the church service for ages 4 to grade 5 and programs throughout the week for all elementary, middle school and high school aged children. In a perfect world, they’d be perfectly well behaved, but let’s face it – they are kids. And they have autism.

I was thinking about this after we painfully sat through the service shushing children who sat still for awhile, then wiggled a lot, who talked louder than the pastors (I am sure the whole church could hear us from the back row), and who let out an occasional yelp when things got dicey. I looked over at my husband and mouthed “never again” and then later “why do we do this to ourselves?”

Okay, let’s be honest. It’s hard. It is difficult for them to sit still and quiet for so long. It is uncomfortable and embarrassing for us when they make noises and actions that distract other church members who are just there to worship God. Some people give us the stink eye. Some people smile and give us a thumbs up because they know we’re trying our best. And some just hug our children and us when it is all over.

Those things I mouthed to my husband? I feel like that a lot. I often ask him, “is it worth it to take them to church this week?” He always answers yes. I know my heart answers yes, too. But sometimes I can’t see past the possibility of what could happen. But here’s where my wise husband is correct – it is always worth it. Because why should they be different than anyone else?

Why shouldn’t they be allowed to sing from the top of their lungs, completely off key? They’re making a joyful noise to the Lord, just like He loves us to do. Why shouldn’t they be able to join church activities? Just because they are more difficult than other children and require extra time and effort to teach doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be taught. Their exceptionalities give them perspective and understanding that other children have yet to grasp. The truth is that they need Jesus too – so why shouldn’t they be able to worship with the rest of us?

And so we continue to go. We continue to have presence in our church – and by that I mean we’re so loud everyone knows we’re there. We are so blessed to be in such a loving church family where most people know us and accept us as we are, and those who don’t just haven’t met us yet. I am sure if they got to know the loud and obnoxious family in the balcony, they’d get there.

But this can go the other way as well – and here’s the danger. Sadly, our church hasn’t always been so loving and accepting. There was another family with an autistic son who overheard someone say that children like him were not welcome in a church. That family never came back to church, even though they needed to. Because all of them needed Jesus.

How can we make church easier for people who have children with exceptionalities? How can we make church easier for those who have to sit close to families who have autistic children?

The first step is in understanding. As convenient as it would be for all involved, there is not a pause button for autism – they can’t just shut it off for an hour. In order to reach out in love and acceptance you need to understand a few basic principles:

They are not “normal” children. They are incapable of performing like their peers can, regardless of age. They have their own milestones that are incomparable to other children.

It is difficult for them to sit still. They have many resources in place at school to help them adapt, but little to none at church so they are trying as hard as they can.

They will make noise – it can not be helped. This is how they are processing what they are hearing in church and coping with being in church. Some children are non-verbal, so the only way they can communicate is by making noise. Others are capable of speaking, but they do not have a volume control and their voices are very loud.

They can hear record breaking frequencies. It can be inconvenient to be in a place of worship with an autistic child when you are wearing a hearing aid and they make noises that hurt your ears. However, these children often hear at high frequencies that hurt their ears every single day, resulting in them being loud – they are trying to drown out all the other noises they are hearing such as the hum of the projector, the whirling of fan, the scratching of the microphone, the shuffling of other people’s feet. The difference is unlike a hearing aid, they can’t just turn it down.

They are very tactile. They have little sense of personal space and will touch or be close to anyone they feel comfortable around, even strangers.

Prepare. Children with autism need to be prepared for special services such as Easter, Christmas, Missions, and multi generational services. If there is a multi generational service, it is often best to remind the congregation there will be noises that are expected and to prepare themselves for them.

Once your church family understands some of the basic behaviours of autistic children, they are able to adapt a little easier and stop whispering about so and so’s bad parenting. Hey, it happens.

Make adaptations for them. This can be difficult, because most of the church workers are not experienced in dealing with autism and don’t know what to do when something happens. Using resources like they have in school for church time can be very helpful.

Social stories like this one for young children or those who have never gone to church before can prepare the child and possibly prevent a meltdown or incident.

Visual aides like these can help children with the schedules and routines at church. (If there is a change in the schedule, you can ask the pastor to notify you so you can change your visual aides.)

Encourage breaks from the program if the child appears agitated. A “break” or “help” card can be simple to make and very convenient for the child to use when needed.

One on one help is helpful for children with autism if there are enough willing workers. Having someone there just for your child that they trust and are comfortable with can make a huge difference in their behaviour.

Allow tactile objects for children with ASD such as a small stuffed animal, a building block, etc. Not only does having something in their hands allow them to be able to focus on what they are being taught, it also keeps their hands busy and less likely to get them into a situation with someone else.

These are some ways that might help. The most important thing is to have open communication with your pastors and children’s workers – they want your children there as much as they do. Ask questions and make suggestions.

Dealing with disruptions is key. Pastors and children’s workers, be honest about the children’s behaviours. If there is a situation, talk to the parent as soon as you can. It is harder for them to deal with the behaviours if they do not hear about it the same day. You can often use dealing with disruptions as an opportunity to show God’s love and compassion. First, remove the child from the program if they are spiraling out of control. Seek the parents for help if you can’t manage to get them to calm. Once they are calm, teach them one on one if the need arises. God has brought these children to church because He has a purpose for them. One of the most powerful examples of how God can speak to a child that we have witnessed happend in the aftermath of a meltdown. The children’s pastor took our son into his office and had a one on one lesson with him. I am sure he had other things to do, and this was a disruption to his day, but He allowed God to use him. At the end of the lesson, our son drew a picture of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey and the attention to detail of what he had heard was unlike anything I’d seen before. When in doubt of how to deal with children with autism, take a moment to pray and ask God to show you ways to teach them.

Inclusion is so important, and one simple invitation can change everything. Look for special talents and gifts the child might possess. Each child is specially gifted to help serve, even in the most simple ways. Our church serves a breakfast every five weeks where our church family gathers together for a wonderful meal. After everyone is finished eating (and sometimes before!) our sons go around and start clearing dishes from the tables and taking them to the washing station. This was never a task they were asked to do, but they have continually taken the task upon themselves to serve others in this small way. Often when they are done that, they are invited to help stack chairs as well – something simple they can do that makes them feel important and part of the bigger picture. Our God can use little boys who stack chairs and clear tables. It’s a starting point to serving in other ways.

Encourage the parents. Pray for them. It is a long, hard and exhausting road that they walk. It takes a lot of strength to take your children to church (or anywhere else, for that matter). If you see them on a Sunday morning, smile and say hello. They likely won’t have time to talk, but that small hello can go a long way. If you feel lead to serve, call and ask if there is any way you can help – even if it is something simple like shoveling their driveway or mowing their lawn. Love them and encourage them. It’s so simple and so needed.

God calls us to be His hands and feet – reaching out in love right now. Consider how you can help. 1 in 68 children are diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder and they need the love of Jesus more than ever.

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A Very Big Word

March 4, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha Borden1 Comment

Forgiveness. Why is such a small word such a big deal?

You may have been hurt by someone in the past (or present) that you are struggling to forgive. This is not your run of the mill forgiveness – the kind that covers a temporary hurt like a marital squabble or an issue with a friend or coworker. This is forgiveness that needs to cover something that is irreparably broken. Something that was said or done that ripped your heart right out of your chest and you watched it being stomped on and picked apart right in front of your eyes. We’re talking hard, emotional damage. That kind of hurting. The one you try not think about. The one you wish you could forget.

I have been blessed to only have one irreparable broken heart scenario in my life. Although I understand and can appreciate that it can occur more than once in a lifetime. But let me tell you, my heart is still recovering. After that broken moment, I had to pick my heart back up off the ground, wipe it off, and cover it with gauze and bandages. I thought it was healed enough to take those bandages off. But then I realized the wounds were still fresh.

I thought I had forgiven this person. I thought I was able to move on. In actuality, I had forgiven from afar. This is the type of forgiveness where you “forgive” someone, but you distance yourself from that person and think if you do not have to see or deal with them on a regular basis, everything will be okay. Temporarily it seems like a perfect fix. But God has a way of uncovering fake forgiveness.

Just recently, God placed this person back in my life. Only temporarily, and for a short period of time, but there this person was. The bandages were ripped off and blood and feelings started bubbling over and the wounds were fresh again. I realized forgiveness from afar just wasn’t working for me. This person will be back again – likely only temporarily, and for a short period of time – but I know I needed to address this again because this person will be there, surfacing here and there for the rest of my life.

How do we forgive? How do we move from the far way forgiveness to a true place of healing? I think we need to be even more broken. The reason we forgive is because Christ has forgiven us. Even through all of the mistakes that we have made and the deep hurt we have surely caused Him, He has forgiven us and wiped the slate clean. I know it seems surreal since we can’t see Him. But there it is. The perfect, glorious gift of grace. We did not deserve to be forgiven. And yet, we have been.

This person does not deserve to be forgiven. In some ways, I wish I could sweep it under the rug, move to Australia and never have to deal with this person again. But you know what? I would run into that person again – in Australia. I’d never be able to get away from it. Even if I never saw that person again, the issue would still be there. The memories would still be there. The brokenness would still be there. The hurt would still be there.

And so, I need to forgive. It is hard. It is something no one wants to face when the wounds are fresh. But we need to treat each encounter with those who have hurt us with a fresh slate of grace. There’s no reason to drudge up the past hurts we have experienced. Conversations and encounters are less likely to become ugly if we try to be like Christ.

Several years ago, my mom bought me a book called The Kindness Weapon by Bruce Wannamaker. It is no longer in print, but it sits on my bookshelf today as a wonderful reminder. In the story, a boy and his friend make plans to build a treehouse but before they finish one of the boys is in a car accident and ends up in a wheelchair. The healthy boy tries to cheer him up but the boy in the wheelchair doesn’t want to have anything to do with him or anything else. His Sunday School teacher suggested he use kindness towards the boy to help him recover. Essentially, the Sunday school teacher suggests the healthy boy kill the strained relations between them with kindness.

If you are hurting, and do not know how to start to forgive – kill the offending person with kindness. How do you kill someone with kindness? By doing small acts of love. Sending a card in the mail, helping them with a task they can’t do alone, stepping in and letting God use you where He sees fit.

This is not going to be an easy task. Even crafting a kind note is difficult when every bone in your body is objecting. But when you let God use you, when you kill others with kindness, your heart will be changed. Suddenly forgiving won’t seem so hard.

I’m going to try it. How about you?

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Rescue

February 10, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus, who being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance of a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death – even death on a cross! Philippians 2:5-8

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone and the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

Have you ever had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? A day where you felt like you failed so many times and in so many different ways? Yesterday was like that. In fact, it was so terrible, horrible, no good and very bad that it has been very hard to bounce back.

In this world, we are constantly bombarded with the phrase “I’m not perfect” – so much so that we often use it as an excuse not to be. Hey, I am just as guilty as the next person here. I think I even said this yesterday. But saying “I’m not perfect” is not good enough. We need to strive to be more Christ like in every aspect of our lives, and wasn’t He perfect?

Of course we will fail. I think that is the whole point. We fail repeatedly but God’s grace allows us to pick ourselves up and try again. It’s like running a race we will never win – and knowing we will never win it – yet every time we fall and seem to get behind, we pick ourselves back up and keep on running.

We might not be perfect, but we are perfectly broken. He doesn’t need us to have it all together to use us for His glory. Isn’t that an amazing thought? Here I sit, a massive failure. I’ve said and done some pretty bad stuff in my lifetime. I know I am not alone in this boat – you’re sitting here right with me and we’ve got matching life jackets.

But the real truth – the refreshing, undeserved truth – is that no matter how many times I am in that boat, wallowing in despair because I have made some wrong choices and it’s wreaking havoc on my life, He comes to my rescue.

And not just when I have made bad decisions. He cares about every aspect of my life. Any hurt or pain that I feel. Any trials that I face. Any joy that I experience. When I feel the sting of rejection, He is there. When I have hurt someone with my words and am feeling desperate to make amends, He is there. When I am in the valley, He is the light. When my heart is bursting with happiness, His is too.

He takes my broken pieces and puts everything back together. He sees my bad days and my good days, my good choices and my bad choices. He sees all of that and He sends me a reminder like that in 2 Corinthians 5:17. It’s like He says, “Wait a minute. I see all of these things that are trapping you. But don’t you remember that I set you free? Don’t you remember you have been made new?”

The old has gone, and the new has come.

That means when you have bad days, you need to ask for forgiveness and move on. Yesterday is not today. The old has gone, the new has come. Today is a new day to strive to be perfect — and when we fail, because we know we will, His grace will be our rescue.

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It Is Well

January 22, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

“Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I put my hope in God! I will praise Him again and again – my Saviour and my God!” Psalm 42:5

Have you ever felt downcast and weary like David did in the psalms? Sometimes we start our day feeling downhearted and we aren’t even sure why. It could be the weather, it could be something you dreamt about. It could be anything. Most of the time there is no reason.

Sometimes people think if they just have something extra in their lives, they will be happy and it will lift them out their sadness. Whatever it is, it will only be satisfying for a little while. Eventually, they will be back to where they started – feeling lonely, upset and afraid.

A lot of the time when we find ourselves discouraged, we forget about God or alternatively, place blame on God for our feelings because He is not doing what we want Him to.

David teaches us through the pslams that we need to quickly place our hope in God when we are feeling downhearted, depressed and sad. He suggests we do this by praising God. When I read this particular passage of scripture, I think about the writer of the popular hymn, It Is Well. Let’s take a quick look at the first verse of this hymn:

When peace like a river attendeth my way

when sorrow like sea billows roll

whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul.

This is a perfect verse to remember when striving for a contented heart. Spafford and his family lived in Chicago, where he was a successful businessman. In the great fire of 1871, he lost so much he and his family decided to take a vacation. He wanted to visit a friend of his who was in England, but was delayed by business – so he sent his wife and children on a ship ahead of them with plans to meet them there. On the way, the ship his family was on struck an iron sailing vessel and sank to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Spafford’s wife Anna was saved from drowning, but the children were gone. When she arrived in England, she wired Horatio with the message “saved alone.” He sailed out to meet his wife shortly after, and the captain informed him when they were sailing over the area where the ship had gone down. It was at this moment in time, Horatio Spafford penned this beautiful, timeless hymn of peace and praise.

In the midst of sorrow and despair, he was able to write about a comfort that comes from a strong faith in God.

This is such a powerful story. In the midst of utter turmoil and loss, this man searched deep within his heart and found a peace that only comes from God.

In the midst of your broken place, if your hope is growing thin, put your hope in God and seek His presence. When you look to reassuring face of Christ, you will find that precious peace that no one can describe. It only comes from Him.

It Is Well

Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Refrain:

It is well, with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life

Thou shalt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

The sky, not the grave, is our foal;

Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord,

Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descent,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

Autism · Family

Plugging In

January 15, 2015March 6, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

Last year the children received tablets for their birthdays. Initially, they were given to them so they would be able to access homework apps like Raz Kids, IXL and others. However, they generally just use them now for fun and games. And that’s okay with me.

Technology can be a wonderful thing, and it can also cause many issues, including health issues. Like anything else, “everything in moderation.” I remember someone telling me they think us allowing our children to play video games is ridiculous and that their child will play outside instead of being allowed to use the computer or have a tablet. I just smiled. You see, her son is only two. She has no idea what it’s going to be like when her son is part of the public school system. Technology is the future – and the way they operate in the school system reflects that. They use computers, iPads, and homework is often done online. Even in elementary school. She’ll find out soon enough.

Don’t get me wrong. My children aren’t little zombies playing video games and games on their tablets all day long. My children go outside. They love playing outside all year round. Need some proof? Here you go.

Catching Snowflakes in the Winter

Sidewalk Chalk on the Deck in the Spring

Tons of fun to be had in the summer time!

Running around in the Fall

So we do have fun outside. More often than not, the boys will play outside for hours. When you play outside, adventure awaits. You can do anything you set your mind to. You can have concerts with a few backyard toys becoming makeshift drums and pianos. You can climb trees that you pretend are lookouts on pirate ships. You can dive into a pile of leaves, pick flowers, go for walks. Outside you can bike, play tennis, go for a swim. Being outside is a good thing, I get that. But I’d like to argue that in our lives we enjoy a good balance of both.

During the school year, we use tablet time as a reward. For an excellent day at school, they can earn up to an hour and a half on their tablets. But we do have some ground rules.

#1. Absolutely no technological devices in the bedrooms. (I have boys. Let’s be honest, it’s a good thing to be setting the rules early on. Am I right?)

#2. Clean Before Screen. (Our children have daily chores they must complete before they can have their tablet time. This includes homework).

#3. All apps and games need to be reviewed by a parents before they are installed. (I just like to know what they are doing and what they are looking at).

#4. NO SOCIAL MEDIA. (They’re only 9 and 7 – there will be lots of time for that in the future. Safety first!)

These are pretty simple, and they will be subject to change with a few more added as they get older. For now, they are working and they allow some much needed down time for the boys.

With the pressures and daily struggles that they have, it is nice to have an activity where you can just relax. We have noticed the tablet time allows for just that. And while their bodies aren’t moving much, their mind is active. Quite a few of their games require strategy, logical thinking, and most importantly for them and their motor skill issues – good hand/eye coordination. They even have learned some money management from games that require purchasing items with hard earned coins.

We often have what we call “Plugging In” time, where we all sit together in the family room with our own set of earphones and tablet, doing our own thing. The boys might play a game or read a book. My husband will listen to some music and play some games. I will usually read a book while listening to some relaxing piano music. Sometimes I will check Facebook or play a game. It’s basically just an half hour of peace where we are together, doing something separately. And that works for us. Occasionally, someone will comment on something interesting they are reading or doing and we will all check it out. But usually it’s just quiet. On a typical day, this time is scheduled in right before supper. Previously to Plugging In, this was “the witching hour” where everyone was tired, cranky and melting down. It’s a wonderful way to start winding down the day. There is a sense of togetherness, even though we’re doing our own thing.

Everything in moderation, including screen time. And a little bit of a good thing right before supper? Works for me.

Uncategorized

The Potter’s Hands

January 10, 2015February 18, 2017 Jerusha BordenLeave a comment

“Yet you, Lord, are our Father, We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

What are you afraid of? Not scary movies or spiders – those things go without saying for some people (like me!) I am talking about those deep rooted fears and worries that you struggle with on a daily basis. For some, it might be fear of running out of provisions for their family. For others it might be the death of a loved one. For others, it might be being truly alone. Others might have worries and fears on behalf of someone they love.

Change is on the horizon for many people at this time of the year. January is a perfect time for us to think about things we might like to change about ourselves or our situations. Change often leads to fears of the unknown – how will things work out? It is hard when you are on the horizon, but you can’t see what is yet to come.

I sometimes get trapped in the fear of the unknown, fear of evil things lurking around in my life.

It is in these moments of fear when I forget to trust the Father who created me. What is it about fear that totally grips and consumes us? What is it about fear that completely changes the way we think? We know we have a loving, Heavenly Father who creates us. We are the work of His hand. With each loving movement, He formed us. He sculpted and shaped us.

Why do we not understand that the One who lovingly made us also has things under control? We do not need to be afraid.

When I am most fearful, when I feel the fear gripping me and trying to take control, it is in these moments that I need to remind myself to seek Him. When we really truly trust in Him, He can deliver us from all our fears.

For those of you who are facing changes in the new year, whether it be a new job, sending children back to school, making a move to a new home – remember you were formed by a loving Father and you were formed by His hand. Rest in that today.