I hate housework. There, I said it. There is something freeing about admitting it. But the truth is, I don’t just hate it, I resent it. Let’s face it – I never wanted to be a housewife. Yes, I wanted to be married. I wanted the kids. But I didn’t want the cleaning. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of marrying rich so I could have a maid…
Oh, my maid. She would leave everything sparkling clean in her midst. I’d never have to clean toilets. I would never have to do laundry. I would never have to wash the dishes. Instead, I married a very sweet man who is rich in love and kindness but not money. I wouldn’t have it anyway. Except for the housework.
I like to think I have changed a lot over the years. That as I have aged (so much grey hair) – I will have grown. And not just in numbers, but in matters of the heart. In wisdom. But most days, I just feel like a hot mess.
Right now, my house is pretty much a disaster. Yes, there are dishes in the sink. The laundry is in the process of getting washed and dried. The bathroom could use a good scrubbing. And don’t talk to me about the playroom. *shudder*
I wish I had more energy. I wish I had more desire to make it sparkle. Because oh, do I ever love it when it sparkles! But here’s the thing. I have these two little blessings that can turn a sparkling home into dirt and scatter in about ten minutes. It’s so frustrating. It’s so discouraging. It saps the energy and desire for a sparkling home right out of me.
Still. My husband loves a clean home. He’s not a clean freak (thank the Lord!) but he does like to come home to a tidy home where he doesn’t have to pitch in to make it liveable. If the house was clean, that would be my way of screaming I LOVE YOU! LOOK WHAT I DID! And oh, do I love him. So why do I still struggle?
There are so many factors. But here’s the cold, hard truth. God didn’t plan for me to marry rich. He didn’t plan for me to be a hard working career woman (although that was in MY plan). Instead, He blessed me with two special needs children that do require a lot of time and energy, love and supervision. He did bless me with a wonderful, supportive, loving and understanding husband. He’s blessed me much more than I deserve. And…well, it was His plan for me to be a housewife. A Mom who needs to cook and clean. All the time…
Colossians 3:23 says, “work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people,” That verse is challenging. Because you can’t ignore it. It means cleaning too. It means doing the best job you can in the role that He has placed you in. Even as a housewife.
Sometimes, a verse just stabs you right in the heart. I could say I’d rather leave my house a mess so I can invest in my children. Truth? I’d rather leave my house a mess so I can spend more time and energy doing the things I enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I do invest a lot of time and energy into my children. But sometimes, a girl just needs a break.
If I were honest with myself, I know that if you keep up with a regular cleaning routine, it’s not overly time consuming. If you let the mess get the best of you, though, it takes a lot more time and energy to clean the house than it should.
I guess it’s going to be a struggle to try and remain ahead of the game. And try not to complain or grumble too much when it’s time to do laundry again and there’s just so much mess. Again. Because at the end of the day, it’s what my heart is like that matters, not my house. But if my house is causing my heart to not be fully committed to serving the Lord, I need to adjust a few things.
Time to change the laundry over. And figure out what to have for supper. And where did I leave that vacuum?